You know, maybe its just me. It could very well be just me... but ever find yourself at a place where you cant find yourself? It's a feeling like none other. You get everything else in order in your life... except yourself? Btw... you gotta listen to the song on your top right... if not while you read, at least some point.
I am at a place in my life where I think this will be the position of my life and that is I am not ashamed or held back to live somewhat transparent. The reason? Why not? Your life is the greatest example ever.
To get back on topic. Not a long post just a real one. I was at that place. It's like trying to do inventory in an empty room. I found myself finally breaking down and telling one my good friends... the truth. His guidance and words are echoed in this post.
Go back. Go back to the place where God spoke to you. The place where you heard his voice. The place where you knew it was God. It isn't a geographical location, program, church.... the place! That area in your life where you abandoned all reason, logic, common sense... and simply listened. If you think you can find you on your own... you are mistaken. He loves you and has brought you to this point to bring that back to your attention. So... stop looking for the perfect book, the greatest song you've heard... Go back.
When you can't find you stop looking in, look up. As stupid and cliche as that sounds... the reason you can't find yourself is due to the fact you gave you away a long time ago. Be encouraged... we are all in the same boat.