Revision 10/21** I posted this a few days ago and had a few emotional responses. I understand. You never really consider the stage of life having an audience. When you pick yourself up and notice... the spotlight is on you and the audience has just experienced a tragedy. No matter where you turn... it seems you are reliving so many damaging scenes. You can stop the drama. After you read this... you can comment anonymously or email me a response if you need an ear, trust me... i understand.
I found myself listening to my iPod a lot this week. Took myself back in the day, listened to some of my regulars, but I had a moment... a moment with Mary:) I was listening to Mary J's "No more drama" (Click the right top corner if you have never heard this song. It is her best performance at the 2002 Grammys) and had an emotional experience LOL. Seriously though... I found myself at the end of a lot of things that I just don't wanna fight with anymore. You might be reading this and have no idea what I am talking about, you may wanna come back in a couple days when I do a new post, but there are some of you who know EXACTLY what I am talking about. Below is the beginning of the end of my drama... for real.
Drama's definition is "a series of emotional, impacting or unexpected events or circumstances". Have you ever been through something, and for some reason it continues to have an impact? I mean it happened some time ago but yet it seems the ripples never stop? You could be living life at the level you can, and yet out of no where you get smacked? Here is what I have learned.
1) Your only a victim... until you hit them back. Whatever tries to remind you, or set you back from your progress... push back with an attitude of gratefulness that you survived. Don't be a victim of "The spirit of drama's past", push back and be proud of who you have become.
2) Stop leaving the door open. There is a part of you that if your not careful, instead of moving forward with the promises you have now, and the distance you made... you leave a little room, a little crack in the door just in case your in the mood to lose it all over again. CLOSE THE DOOR. You are the conductor of your own drama.
3) Don't hide the scars. Remember... why would Jesus still keep his scars? As a reminder of what was paid? Wouldn't rising from the dead, and salvation of your soul be enough? He had Thomas run his fingers through his scars as a tangible illustration of what? To validate... "I am HE" Your scars are your signature. Don't live with a fear of "I will never be able to forget this!!' GOOD. That means you won't have to be ignorant enough to go through that pain again. Your scars remind you of the pain... and the progress.
I am done with the drama. Every scene, every day... one filled with laughter, the other filled with a sorrow filled scene... all connected to the script of my previous stage. That play is over. I am now writing an epic that ends the way it was supposed to. Be done with drama. I am.