Phipps Cogitation

Question of Power and the Power of Question

2010-02-12T20:19:00.001-08:00

So I got to watching some youtube. It was interesting because I started running across some "False Prophets" videos and one of them was Benny Hinn. You know it was kind of sad yet interesting. It's really is sad, I have always had a hunger and connection to that sort of thing... well let me explain.

When I had just gotten out of Masters my second year (i went home to hang with my fam during my folks divorce) I took a few courses at RCC (Riverside Community College) Midi and Music Theory. I would get out of school and go home to the everyday ritual. Frozen Hamburger patties on the grill and some Mr. Rogers :) after my fix of 70's and 80's childrens programs I would watch Benny Hinn. Strange I know but it was on purpose. I would literally sit and weep at what God was doing in these people. Look, I was in my early 20's and Benny was something my Grandma would watch. I dont know why but i was locked.

Well... then it happened. Dateline did a special, people began to call it a Circus, he would start the whole waving his jacket, blowing on people... they accused him of money garbage and it turned so many people off. But folks... I would literally sit and FEEL God watching this show. Hated his hair, hated his accent, and really didnt care for Steve Brock that much either... but I would just sit and bathe in what I felt was God.

This is my question... what have we done? I was raised in the fact that the Spirit of God was real.I even have a story where I not only felt it... but was used in it... but it's long so I put it below this post for those interested. How long has it been since we have even heard of the big stuff? You know signs, miracles... I mean beyond the baby thing at the Bradys church (video of miracle) and even that is in speculation (video of speculation) It seems every miracle now a day is under speculation. God is real... but so is the criticism. It is sad.

I want my son... this generation to experience and believe. My response used to be "It may be a circus, but look at the lives changed" or "Lives are changing and if he is off? He has to answer for it". When you watch Dateline and the videos on youtube... it sucks. It just deepens the wound on Gods Power... See? Even those 2 words together now a day is even skeptical. I feel like everyone else ... but I am tired of Religious Attitude. I have to be careful here because of what I walked through religion scraped me off... anyways!!! (still healing folks, give a brother a break)... I want to love people and let God use me... so here is my question.

1)Where do you fall regarding "Gods Power" or where miracles went?

2)Have you ever experienced it before or witnessed it before and when you tell it, how is it received?

I am not into starting a battle of semantics and theology ... but I am curious to see what is thought by others... Can we see it again or like we have never seen it before? Yes He will pour out his spirit... but i have seen and experienced it poured... but where are we now? As the church and his mirrors... where did it go?

A lesson in Healing and the Gift of Humility

2010-02-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid an elderly couple by the name of Charles and Francis Hunter came through our church. I was sitting in the back row that service (my dad was the pastor... it was mandatory for a pk to do so in our rebellious fashion) I had a football injury in Junior High playing Tight End. It knocked my hip out of joint and I had to have surgery... 4 pins. I had them removed a year later. It caused one of my legs to grow shorter than the other. That morning Francis Hunter said "there is a young man here whose leg is shorter than the other". Well in a church of 250 people not many options... but i knew it was me. I got up limped down and sat in a chair. She said "are you ready to see Gods Power?" I said "sure?" She lifted my leg and just held it in her hands and said "ok Father... heal this boy" I literally felt my entire leg go warm... as I watched it grow an inch right in front of me... well thats not the story.

They then gave me a book called "the gift of healing". I read that book as if it was a choose your own adventure book. I couldnt stop. I was done and begged God every day. I want this. I want to heal sick and broken people. I mean I BEGGED God. Every night for months. Hehe um... this is where it gets interesting.

One night a friend of my dads came by to preach that night. At the end he said this... and I quote "some of you have been asking God for different things... but there is one of you who has been BEGGING God... tonight, you got his attention"... I FREAKED!!! I sat patiently... one person after another... crying, getting theirs. Then... he got up and said "Lets pray to thank God for tonight" Where was mine? What the heck? I was ticked. In my mind I simply said "God you have let me down" Get this... he stops praying... looks at me and says "Dont give up on Him yet... come up here"... then it happened.

He asked me to pray for his back... he had surgery on it and needed a miracle. As I began to pray... it hit me. Like I was standing in lightning. From my fingertips to the tip of my nose to my toes. I know this sounds absolutely stupid... but you know when Frodo takes his ring off? and everything is in another dimension? That was it. (that is literally the best illustration I can give) I would begin to feel hurt in different parts of my body and a light would shine over every person that was there that would match the pain I was feeling. It went from my sister in law and her knee to some strange lady and a heart condition. One after another... and slowly that tingle was leaving my body. Finally... it was gone... and I was exhausted.

The next week... I couldnt wait to hear everybodys testimony. Well it happened. My dad asked if anybody had anything happen to them. One after another they got up... thanking God ... BUT NEVER SAID ONE THING ABOUT ME!!! Hey come on... I was 17. I was so angry. I wanted the credit. I wanted at least a thank you... and that is why I had to learn the hard way. I have yet to experience that again. Not that I think God is punishing me by any means... but in my young heart... that very thing taught me humility... and the Power of God. It was a very real moment for me. But... when you beg God? He listens... but he will teach through it wether your ready for it... or not.

Tomorrow has my attention.

2010-01-08T21:11:00.000-08:00

Ok so here is a question? How much time is lost in a blink? I mean we say it all the time. "Man it's like I blinked and a year has gone bye." I know that is exactly how we feel. I mean we were just saying today that we cant believe we have been in Georgia a year already. Looking at pictures of when we first got here, my son even looks like a totally different kid. Now? We are on the cusp of a teenage boy...ahem...man. I am the Executive Pastor of one of the most amazing churches I believe anywhere. Masters has almost tripled since we started and my life seems clearer everyday. If I was to do one of those 80's fog like squiggly flashback moments, right now is when it would began.

You know, we have gone through a rough set of months the past few. I have had so many people wonder what we went through, so many people with their own version with scattered fragments of truth and imagination. One thing I do know, is I am not the same man I was. This blog has been with me through it all. You can scroll through months and days where I have had alot of trails in my head that are documented in this blog. I guess my purpose of this post... is I am ready to close the books. The yesterdays. I used to think... "You know what I have walked through will be my testimony"... not so much. I mean yeah... it is, but it will have to be released in Gods timing. There are a lot of folks who at this point could not handle looking at our journal just yet. Even as I type this I keep hitting the backspace and deleting what I type, because some of it... is just for us. Regardless of all the questions of what or where. All of the fact less references of OUR history... I want to focus on one thing... and that is this answer... why?

To the best of my ability, all I can muster, all I can gather in a proper response is what I am about to say. The reason I can say it is through time and prayer I am beginning to see why as God pulls back layer after layer of me. So...why? I was tired. I was done. I ran out of G.A.S. meaning... I ran out of giving a crap (but with the vernacular of shipping high in transit). Yes I know. i hear my mother telling me there is no reason for that kind of talk... but its the Gods honest response. I grew empty and tired with no connection, recollection or even desire to refill. Why refill when all your gonna do is pour out and have nothing let for you at the end again anyway? No narcissism involved. No selfishness implied. I was tired of sacrificing with no return. I was tired of living unhappy. I know now... all of that... was MY fault... no one else's.

About 6 months prior to my disappearance from the persona of "Phipps" I had taken so long to build... I felt it. I felt it day after day before I actually shut down. The warning. The inner voice saying "buddy your gonna fizzle". The conviction of what I had left to salvage in me, trying so hard. I could literally feel the Holy Spirit hold it's hands against my chest keeping me at bay. The bottom line? I had already singed my sense of concern. I had already silently grown bitter at ministry and it became the step dad that tried to convince me it loved me... but I held that inner feeling a disconnection of losing the connection of a real Father. You know the original sense of passion I had for ministry to begin with. Why couldnt I just pray for strength again? Why couldnt I just hold on for one more day? Why couldnt I deny myself and... Why? I just didnt care anymore. So I shut down. I grew bitter. I learned the hard way bitterness is the key that gives access to hatred. I didn't get caught in something, I didn't have a nervous breakdown. And besides the fact that even some reading this feel me avoid the obvious, but thats the very thing. It wasnt obvious. I heard how so many said "Thats just not him". I didn't know who "him" was anymore. Bitterness attracts company and bitterness x2= a momentum for madness which causes vow amnesia. I just simply powered down and left.

So many Masters kids with wide eyed wonder asked "how could he do this to us"... that made me angry. Why? My insides screamed "This has nothing to do with you...for once!!" I used to carry a fear in me that if those who had built me at a level, seeing me in my superman suit... if they really knew what Clark Kent had allowed himself to become... I was scared that my fears of no one really caring about ME... not what I do or how I performed or preached. Not what kind of car I drove, who I worked for or what brand my watch was... but me... they would write me off. A lot of those fears came true when it all came down. No one really knew the real Greg Phipps was screaming on the inside, no one really knew how numb I had become. Again... this isn't all true... this is what was being branded into my soul from my non stop thoughts mind. I know now my wife knew the whole time. I know now she talked to me several times, begging me to talk... but I was already gone.

Some details will be in my book but not too many. I have hurt too many people in my process of grace and I wont hurt them anymore but I need to let go of yesterday. even the real yesterday. This last year has been far from perfect. I have been far from perfect.. but who I am compared to who I was before... is limitless. Where my family is now? We could take on the best of yall. My relationship with my wife? ... that will be in her book :) It is unreal. She is and has been simply amazing. Our love for eachother grows more and more everyday.

I guess the hard part for me is forgiving me. I know that sounds ironic coming from a "pastor", but when u are loved unconditionally yet you know the conditions that could be justified... it can tend to haunt you. The other is the relationships that still have bruises in my life. The distance or the gap between myself and those who loved me and I love them. I posted this statement on my Facebook and I'll say it again. I fell, and for those who were using that as an excuse to fall yourself? I got back up. Where are you? I have determined to let those go. I love them, but I am no longer going to beat myself up. I have learned the value of letting people you trust and love really know you. Letting them see the blueprints of you...why? Because if you ever forget who you are, they can remind you. IF you ever get broken? They can help put you back together.

You never understand the depth of Grace until it is needed. I cant wait to write my book because I havent even explained the facts of if I hated ministry so much, why am I back. My journey home was amazing and is still being written. I know there are so many out there who feel that to be in Ministry your not allowed to be happy. Also the facts of the easiest place to get lost is at home. Or have shut down or are about to and need to know there not alone. I eliminated the performance based acceptance I was stuck in... and just live life every day... happy.

Bye Yesterday... Tomorrow has my attention now.

A new year, a new life... a new blog.

2010-01-06T12:47:00.001-08:00

I have not blogged since April of last year... AMAZING! I find myself now more apt to twitter my experiences but, it is time to start blogging once again. I have been talking to my Bishop about this and he agrees, as well as my beautiful bride. I am going to write a book. I really dont know what yet. I have had a few titles run through my mind. One was "Every superhero has his kryptonite" ... but in all honesty I am even more of a different person than i was last April. As far as this blog... here is my question. What is a blog?

I mean think about it. Is it a space to journal? Is it something you try and make of interest so people will follow? Is it an opportinity to give opinion regarding politics? Current events? Spiritual matters? All I know, is it is going to be an opportunity for me to express where I am, what I am going through and what is going on in the Phipps world.

When I was in Arkansas and God was putting our family in an environment of healing and repair, my blog was a great way for me to compass my progress. My God. I need to tell you sometime about some of the things I have gone through. One of them was I was... well. I will save that for another blog. The mileage on our family has been great... but what we have become because of it? It is breath taking. So saying all that?

The blog is back on.

Phipps

:)

2009-04-29T20:17:00.000-07:00

Crazy day today. There are so many things we have going and are so excited about life. Not only is Masters starting this fall, presently at New Hope life never stops. We just had Field Day, Michael Pitts Tuesday night and now Pink Sunday on May 10th. It is Breast Cancer Awarenes and we work with the Susan G. Komen foundation and on Mothers Day bring that awareness (which my wife is heading up) Then, Military Appreciation Day all the while producing the KI video... Whew. Sometimes u gta stop and blog on ur iPhone ;) like now.. See?

-- Post From My iPhone

Good day

2009-04-28T20:24:00.001-07:00

Today was a good day. We had staff at Kingdom Impact today. Love is the K.I. Director there and I thought having staff there would help the staff connect to the heart of what she does. It was moving and impacting... No pun intended. Then tonight Michael Pitts spoke and flat tore us up!
He talked about "Order your steps" living in order not disorder. Understanding the value in the routine of principles. You gta go to our website and watch it on demand. I'll post a link soon. Well, a part of our routine? Iron Chef. B4 bed.. Its on now and I'm gna go finish watching it ;)

-- Post From My iPhone

Thank God it's here!!

2009-04-27T21:19:00.001-07:00

Finally!! It's been too long since I have posted... Plus Twitter and mini blogging it's an on the go life. But now I have an app I can finally blog with!! Well we are great. Here in GA, it seems like we are in the vein of Gods will for our lives. We have Brody for a few weeks... Which is INCREDIBLE! luv him! Things are good. We are happy, healthy, and home. Besides finding some great apps lately, please everyone... Go to my wife's facebook and ask her why she poisened her husband;) well... It's good to be back in blog land and love it! We got Micheal Pitts coming tomorrow night and we are excited. Church Sunday was amazing. Here it is...

Bishop called us up at the end and said some stuff straight from God. Then today was my girls bday. Bishop took us to lunch. April told Brody we were going to eat Japanese food so every oriental thing he saw including ppl he pointed and yelled "Chinese!!"

What a mess. Well, love u all and am
Back to blogging...

Don't forget to breathe ;)
Phipps.

Post From My iPhone

Oh my...

2009-02-11T05:16:00.000-08:00

Well, we are home. It took us awhile to get here... but we made it. We packed up our stuff, emptied our storage unit and we were ready. Well... I do want to say thank you. My wife suggested I send a message to our Small Group at Harvest Time that we needed help loading the truck because if not... it would have been just me and my sister and b in law. Well, I picked up the truck and pulled in ready to load to find our Small Group Leader at my door... then another guy came...then 3 more. Before it was over, there were 8 people all together that helped us load. So... thank you to everyone including my sis and husband who packed my truck so tight nothing budged :)

Well, we then got here (after a 14 hour drive) to find the mens ministry helping us unload our truck in full force. We were so blessed and blown away. We then walked into our house that we hadn't seen yet at all... and were moved to tears. It is amazing. The nicest house we have ever lived in by far! It was just built, 2000 square feet, 20 foot vault ceilings, 4 bedrooms...amazing.

I gotta tell you, God is just amazing. It is breathtaking. We are both so deeply moved and blown away by it all. I apologize for the lack in blog posts due to this major transition in our lives, but we are home. I had somebody text me last night an ask me how I am doing... my response "Well, I love my wife, love my house, love my Pastor...and my son has a mowhawk...does it get any better?

A new door... a new home.

2009-01-18T18:27:00.001-08:00

Well, here we go. It is amazing how quick yet amazingly God works. We have just got back home and are the beginning stages of wrapping up life here in Arkansas as we take our next step. Let me explain...

Last year around November I received a call checking on my family and I. Bishop Jeff Poole called to encourage me and coach me to keep my head up... and pay our rent for that month. Even though his act of kindness was amazing, it was like a cool breeze in the middle of a hot day. Well, I placed that in the file "God provides again" and went back to work. Ever since that moment I can't explain it, but that seed started to grow.

The entire month of December I kept telling April, I don't know why... but I can't shake Bishop from my spirit. So around the beginning of '09, I sent him an email. I told him things that had been turning in my spirit, things that I had felt had been growing for quite some time. Things that God and I had discussed regarding our next step. I told him "Bishop, your name has been spinning in my spirit and it could very well be God desiring me to listen to your voice regarding our next step". After I sent that email, 10 minutes later I get a phone call. Bishop told me everything... things he had only shared with his wife were the exact same thing I had sent. God... initiated our next step.

He flew us out there this last weekend and our hearts melted together. As he interviewed us and spoke with us about our lives... he focused on us, not just what we could do. He prayed for us and ministered to us and in that moment God initiated him as the voice in our lives and our Pastor. As he hired us on the spot, I asked him in our Saturday meeting... "Well, when do we let the word out?"; at the end of his message the next morning, he stood us up and announced it to the church. We are moving to Georgia. We will be starting NHMC (New Hope Masters Commission) this fall at New Hope International Church.

You know, I am sure a lot of people could and would ask "Are they sure they are ready?" ... well, after 8 months of prayer, healing, counseling and preparation I will answer for you. Yes, we are ready. We are excited and can not wait. Pray for us as we pray for you. It is time.

... don't worry. I am sure you're wondering how you will hear about our progress? We tend to live our life loud. You will hear sounds coming from Central Georgia and turn the page and see us right in the middle of it. Since when did we ever live quiet?

;)

Amazing

2009-01-13T12:03:00.000-08:00

It seems I find myself once again amazed at the way God does things. You know, when you love something so much, you will do anything for it. I have found that out with my family. I have also found that out with my life. Ministry is a funny thing. When you read about Samuel and how he was under Eli. It says he "ministered"... which means served.

Ministry for some is an undefined monster. No matter how much you love it... it always seems a little too much. For some, ministry is like a new child. It brings joy, brings challenges but never enough to regret its presence in your life. For me... ministry became something that I allowed to serve me. I wondered when all my sacrifice was gonna pay off. I would say "I am tired of all the sacrifice and nothing in return"... thus my resentment. I found myself adding my wife in there as well. My responsibility to what God had called me to grew dim to a vacuum of selfishness that was a difficult void to fill. When you hear the phrase "you don't know what you got til it's gone" is underestimated. Why? Because for some, including myself... I acquired amnesia. I "didn't know" what I had. I was lost. I was beyond saving. Then, when it is gone you begin to reach for things... that are no longer there. You try to cling to areas... that no longer exist. I say all of this because of where we are.

Through the stupid illustration of a kids cartoon movie "Kung Fu Panda" to be exact... I heard a profound statement from a turtle kung fu master :) "You can not change the past... and the future is a mystery... but you do have a gift called now that you can change...that's why they call it the Present" Even April said "OK... wow" Those words already confirming what I have been feeling. The only thing I have the ability to change... is now.

I heard this next statement so many times in this season in my life..Ministry should never be a destination but an outcome. When I first heard those words it confused me. Ministry is a destination to those who love it, would die for it and know it is there lively hood. I resented that statement, especially hearing it from people in ministry... doing what they love and actively involved in their calling. It's like someone telling you while you are in a financially stressful season in your life "eh...money is overrated"...but then, I began to understand.

It is not about doing what you love. It is about doing... for the One you love. Ministry is an outcome of your relationship with Him. That is what gets lost in the mix of ministry. Every aspect of ministry is an outcome of your relationship with Him. To some... this sounds almost elementary, but to others who have a ministry that seems to grow faster than you can... you understand. Ministry becomes your responsibility due to your role all the while forgetting the way, reason and source of how and why you got there. So I say all of this as a confession. I am going to strive to do and become for the One who called me, loves me and gave His life for me. That is the only way I can make it.

It is a Present... because if I can't handle my now? How can I handle my next?

A Repost of my past becoming a present to my future :)

2009-01-12T21:19:00.000-08:00

The other day I was listening to a song from "Leeland" called "Carried to the Table", about the story of Mephibosheth. The story of Jonathan's son who was cripple. It is an amazing story of restoration. The greatest part of this story is it wasn't his fault. He was dropped when he was a baby. David made a promise to his best friend that he would take care of his son. Everything that was promised to Mephibosheth was taken from him. To make a long story short... he was cripple, but held his position. Standing on broken legs. Read the story some time.

2 things stuck out.

1) Who wants to be seen with a cripple, especially a King. Sure you can care for them... get some "what a good person you are" pats on the back, get some "Look God I like cripples" prayer photo ops. David made Mephibosheth his son. Can you imagine the extra care that would take? Plus... he's a King for Gods sake, he could have just sent carts of treasure... or even a message and have M brought to him... but he went himself. As he dipped into the dirt to embrace him, his pretty robe that confirmed his position got dirty. It's great to lend a hand to someone when they fall. Help them up, pat them and ask if they are ok. But what if the injury has affected there ability to continue? Who will go the distance to fulfill the "If there is anything you need... just let me know" What if their voice was silenced by the strain of mistakes and does not contain the ability to ask?

2) Mephibosheth stood taller cripple than Ziba did with legs. Ziba stole everything that was supposed to be M's with a lie. What did M do? He said "let him have it. As long as I know my new father David is safe... thats all I need" M learned priorities. He had a true treasure in David. What we fail to understand? Everyone knew M's handicap. Everyone knew what he couldnt do and used it against him and he was impaired. M didn't care. He stood with broken legs. You learn real quick to get used to the taste of dust when everyone walks on you. I have learned alot from Mephibosheth.

Good intentions has never accomplished or built anything. David could have walked after Jonathan was dead, but he kept his word. Can you imagine the first time M was picked up by David and slid to the table? No longer words of encouragement, but actions of covenant relationship. Alot of people did not know how to react after my fall. I reached out and some responded. Others? Hey man, I'm here for ya... and yet I hear nothing. Why? Who wants to be seen with a cripple? Others have carried me to the table. You know who you are, and I cant thank you enough for not caring wether you were seen associated with me or not. Not caring about getting your hard earned position a little dirty. I have learned priorities. The "I saw it comings" or "wow he wasn't the man I thought he was" ... you can have any treasure that is left behind in the wake of my mistakes. As long as my family is ok?...thats all I need.

I have learned to stand... on broken legs.

Forgive and Remember

2009-01-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it. I typed. I vented. I let go of a lot hurt that took me an hour to type. But... i erased it.

Y?? It was filled with words of wonder. Words and questions regarding those who erased me and forgot me while all this transpired. Friends who forgot I was here...

There I go again. It's not gonna happen. I have forgiven, just like I have been. In order to forgive and remember... I have to remember. Remember who I am. I am not a bitter man. I have never been a bitter man. I am a lucky man.

I haven't blogged in a while. We have been so busy. We are good, we are healthy and we are ready. Stay tuned... the best is yet to come.

...heard a funny this morning...

"A man called his girlfriend and got her voicemail. It said..."Sorry I missed you leave a message. I am changing alot of things in 2009...if I do not return your message...you are one of those changes"

:) Phipps.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2008-11-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

Go Back.

2008-11-20T06:18:00.001-08:00

Ever feel...

You know, maybe its just me. It could very well be just me... but ever find yourself at a place where you cant find yourself? It's a feeling like none other. You get everything else in order in your life... except yourself? Btw... you gotta listen to the song on your top right... if not while you read, at least some point.

I am at a place in my life where I think this will be the position of my life and that is I am not ashamed or held back to live somewhat transparent. The reason? Why not? Your life is the greatest example ever.

To get back on topic. Not a long post just a real one. I was at that place. It's like trying to do inventory in an empty room. I found myself finally breaking down and telling one my good friends... the truth. His guidance and words are echoed in this post.

Go back. Go back to the place where God spoke to you. The place where you heard his voice. The place where you knew it was God. It isn't a geographical location, program, church.... the place! That area in your life where you abandoned all reason, logic, common sense... and simply listened. If you think you can find you on your own... you are mistaken. He loves you and has brought you to this point to bring that back to your attention. So... stop looking for the perfect book, the greatest song you've heard... Go back.

When you can't find you stop looking in, look up. As stupid and cliche as that sounds... the reason you can't find yourself is due to the fact you gave you away a long time ago. Be encouraged... we are all in the same boat.

Account... ability

2008-11-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

Wow... what an emotional week. Plus... April and I both have worked double shifts all week. Doing everything we can to prepare for Christmas =] Have you ever gotten so tired there is not a nap long enough to get rest?? Yeah. Well, no great revelation or wisdom to impart... just a truth. DO NOT EVER take for granted your friends. Not people who are connected to your experiences... your friends.

Do you know the word friend is from the french word "Freund" which means to love freely? You ever talk to someone... out of obligation? You know... they are connected to someone you know who you REALLY care about? I say all this because of a scenario I am currently involved.

I had someone reference the lack of accountability in friendships. Well, I have walked down a seriously learned path and something just hit me and I fired back.... I said "because no one understands what accountability is. The word "accountable" is related to "to give account". When you hire an accountant, you don't call them everyday and say...well, how am I doing?

No, your accountant calls you and holds you responsible to your actions. Instead of "being" an "accountability partner" and waiting for them to just call you and tell you the truth.. YOU CALL THEM! Keep them tallied to what they involved you with to begin with. You keep them to the line they asked you to keep them to. WE WONT! Why? It takes time and resource.

When I was at my lowest I had friends that I could count... on one hand that held me to that. Sure, I got calls... hey man how you doin? The other calls... "You told me you wanted to be at such and such a place in your life...what are you doing to get there and where are you now?" Everyone else? Just patted me while I was down and let me know they were there for me... others? "Phipps... get off your a** and get up, stop whining and do it"

Trust me i understand. Those folks have to be invited in right? Well, no one gets invited without an introduction. You hire an accountant because you do not have the means due to your responsibilities or resources to do it on you own. My "friends"... when I didnt call them back? They called me back everyday until I called. It's not easy being a friend... but mine have shown me the cost compared to the reward.

Accountability... Friends... I will never take them for granted in my life.

Thank God its His Grace...

2008-11-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

One of my best friends on this planet's life is being burned to the ground as you read this. You hear about Grace... sadly enough rarely see it. My heart beats again because of songs like this. This song is the most finite description of my present. I have to share it. I know this is the most unreal difficult nightmare you are experiencing right now. Everyone will be silent in your mistakes but applaud your decisions... if they work out. No one wants to get their hands dirty. Your name is a common topic in conversation... but not for long. You will be forgotten but that is ok. When a man gets forgotten is the perfect environment for him to remember who he is. I dont care what is said or spoken... I love you. Call me... I will carry you until I drop, then we will just rest together and get up again. April and I are here.

Play the video on the right... then read on... I love you friend.

My world is closing in
On the inside
But I’m not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I’m broken
I’m broken
Only one can understand
And only one can hold the hand
Of the broken
Of the broken

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in your arms
Again

I need no explanation of why me
I just need confirmation
Only You could understand the
emptiness inside my head
I am falling
I am falling
I’m falling down upon my knees
To find the one who brings me peace
I am flying
Lord I am flying

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in Your arms
Again

I have come to you in search of faith
Cause I can’t see beyond this place
Oh You are God and I am man
So I’ll leave it in Your hands

Really???

2008-11-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

Ok... I get it! Jesus does not like President Obama...

That is at least what you would think. You hear so many people TERRIFIED about Barak Obama. Listen... ok, I didn't vote for this guy. I didn't agree with some of his views. I have heard from so many people that are genuinely scared. FOLKS!!! Really???

I sent a message to a dear friend who was terrified for their kids and their future... They were scared that the country is being led to hell. They were scared that their kids are living in a sin filled land led by a Godless president... I responded because in their heart they are truly concerned. here is some of what I typed:

"Do you think every youth pastor in America themselves believes every single thing your family does? Sure they believe in the word and God. i am sure they love the generation they are serving... but come on... how do u know he doesnt think drinking is a sin? Or sex with his girlfriend is just a personal struggle? Or the Pastor that preached on Sunday about morality yet can go to Las Vegas and gamble money from the paycheck from Gods people but just considers it a vacation and nobodys business?? Its life. If we knew what really happened at times in the heros we have built? Every one has their kryptonite. Trust me. Not everyone that leads... if we really knew what was in there... we wouldn't follow.

Why do I say this? The greatest part about this country? It is not controlled...it's led. You lead your kids. I dont care what the president believes, he is not the father of my son. He is not the voice in my sons ear that he believes as truth. He can pass whatever bill he wants, whatever law he wants, whatever sexuality views he has. God is God, and I am the president in my house =]

No one but me is responsible for my sons growth. He will know... "they can pass and believe what they want... my dad has always taught me what God thinks... and that is wrong". Dont get me wrong. I will pray for Obama. I pray he leads us in the right direction. Did I vote for him? nope. But... the Word tells us to pray for our government.

We did not lose a political war. Dont forget, we dont wrestle against those things anyway.

One more thing. NO ONE is led to hell. The bible tells us EVERYONE will have the opportunity to know the truth... they will choose to leave it. Yes, there are some who will be led astray... but they too will know the truth. To get into a theological debate is the very thing Jesus was against. He gave 2 commandments as utter importance. Love God with everything, love others the same. Trust me, Obama has a full plate, and there is enough hate in the world to fill it to overflowing. If we are not careful... our concern is viewed as a biased hate driven by fear. ME? I am who I am because I chose to be, I am here because I chose to come home. I am here because I chose my family. NO ONE will choose for me. Thus the FREEDOM of where we live. I didnt choose him, but he is my president. I am going to pray for him. Trust me. Wait til he makes a mistake. Every talk show that sung his praise will shoot him down just as quick.

As those who call themselves God followers... God led us way before the election. That doesnt change. Pray for him, but pray that we become stronger in the change, not weakened by the fear of the unknown. We have the advantage of KNOWING the unknown... we follow the guy who knows everything!!"

Six pack anyone??

2008-11-03T22:12:00.000-08:00

Well, apart from the worst tattoo I have ever seen (actually it's quite creative when you think about it)... anyhow, it has been a chunk of forever since I have posted. Things have been rather crazy but good. Working alot as well as April. But? The reason I have been so busy is we have been at the gym every day for about a month (thus the six pack pic...figure i should explain the large redneck above) I dont think I have ever in my life had this much of a focus on the aspect of my health. My wife walks/bikes 30 mins a day, I am lifting now more than I have ever lifted in my life. The crazy thing is. I have done this before...

You ever get to the place in a workout where you hit it for a good day or two. I mean the weights, the treadmill... maybe even a nice set of situps? Then the next day your a little sore? Than day 2!! You know what I mean. The kind of sore where you cant even hold a pencil? Yep, that one. I was there about a month ago. i have learned how to focus your strain on your muscles to double your impact...well sounds good, tell you are so sore you cant lower your arms past your pockets!! Well I was there. I never wanted to look at another gym again. It was embarrassing. My son would walk by and tap me and I would scream like I was a victim in a head on collision!! I had been at this place before a couple times a few years ago. I couldn't take it. I stopped to heal, and felt good that I had attempted... but I just couldn't take the pain.

I had to push past it. Yeah I rested. But I kept going. Now? It is incredible. I can actually feel myself getting stronger and seeing the difference. Folks... I couldnt do 3 pushups in a row (at least not without doing them on my knees), now I am hitting 4 sets a night. Why am I saying all this?

Think about it, I have heard time and time again "... if you want to go where you have never gone, do what you have never done" What I am pushing myself to do physically is making its way into every area of my life. The discipline I have to have in order to not only push past the pain, but make myself actually go? Now? If I dont go to the gym, it feels odd. I am adding those same disciplines to my life.

No, not reading the word, or praying or sharing Jesus. Try checking on my wife, laying with my son, cleaning so she can rest, throwing the football with my future all star?? It's those things I am seeing the muscle in getting stronger. We always talk about making our family stronger... but you have to push passed the pain. They aren't used to that much attention... neither are you so things will seem strained and sore... push passed it. Before you know it? When your brushing your teeth you'll see muscles start surfacing you never knew where there :)

Be big in a very small world.

2008-10-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the school's students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all that attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question.
"Everything God does is done with perfection. Yet, my son Shay cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is God's plan reflected in my son?" The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. "I believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child like Shay into the world, an opportunity to realize the Divine Plan presents itself and it comes in the way people treat that child."

Then, he told the following story:
Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they will let me play?"

Shay's father knew that the boys would not want him on their team. But the father understood that if his son were allowed to play it would give him much-needed sense of belonging.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We are losing by six runs, and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning."

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. At the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield. Although no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base. Shay was scheduled to be the next at-bat. Would the team actually let Shay bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.

Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have ended the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first, run to first." Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "run to second, run to second!" By the time Shay was rounding first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman for a tag. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions had been, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head. Shay ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home.

As Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "run to third!" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay! Run home!"

Shay ran home, stepped on home plate and was cheered as the hero for hitting a "grand slam" and winning the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of the Divine Plan into this world."

Thank you'z.

2008-10-26T19:55:00.000-07:00

I just had to say thank you to everyone who called, emailed me, commented... anything. For real... I was blown away by all the messages for my Birthday. Yes... 37 is 3 years away from the big FOUR OH! I honestly don't care about getting older. I do however care about being the coolest old man I can. Black socks, plaid shorts, gilligan hat, velcro shoes, aqua velva smell, bowling shirt with my name on it, large hearing aide!! I am so down. I want to talk too loud in a quiet store. I want to pay for things in change, I want a handicap sign so I can park ANYWHERE! I wanna mow my yard at 7am, I want my dog emma to be fed by table scraps and gain 80 pounds and not move, I wanna check my mail 4 times a day, I want... I wan... I wa... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Huh? Wait. Where am I?

How to make a bad day better? Watch someone elses :)

2008-10-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

Talk about a serious post?? I love it because so many of you are so great and thought April and I were experiencing the drama :) We are doing incredible. It is great though. I love the awkward "Um, I dont know what the drama is but I love you"... Love you all. It was more or less for myself. There comes a time you have to let some things go, and ... it was time. ANYWAYS!!!

Here is this weeks "Could it get any worse??"

Here is a video (not in english) of a Dutch reporter. He is interviewing a man who had surgery done to his ... ummm... man parts but something went wrong. His interview was meant to be a serious look into the problem, of "Surgeries gone wrong" but something goes wrong... WATCH THE CROWD!! No one thinks it is funny at all... but he can't help it... hilarious- hope you enjoy :)

No more drama

2008-10-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

Revision 10/21** I posted this a few days ago and had a few emotional responses. I understand. You never really consider the stage of life having an audience. When you pick yourself up and notice... the spotlight is on you and the audience has just experienced a tragedy. No matter where you turn... it seems you are reliving so many damaging scenes. You can stop the drama. After you read this... you can comment anonymously or email me a response if you need an ear, trust me... i understand.

I found myself listening to my iPod a lot this week. Took myself back in the day, listened to some of my regulars, but I had a moment... a moment with Mary:) I was listening to Mary J's "No more drama" (Click the right top corner if you have never heard this song. It is her best performance at the 2002 Grammys) and had an emotional experience LOL. Seriously though... I found myself at the end of a lot of things that I just don't wanna fight with anymore. You might be reading this and have no idea what I am talking about, you may wanna come back in a couple days when I do a new post, but there are some of you who know EXACTLY what I am talking about. Below is the beginning of the end of my drama... for real.

Drama's definition is "a series of emotional, impacting or unexpected events or circumstances". Have you ever been through something, and for some reason it continues to have an impact? I mean it happened some time ago but yet it seems the ripples never stop? You could be living life at the level you can, and yet out of no where you get smacked? Here is what I have learned.

1) Your only a victim... until you hit them back. Whatever tries to remind you, or set you back from your progress... push back with an attitude of gratefulness that you survived. Don't be a victim of "The spirit of drama's past", push back and be proud of who you have become.

2) Stop leaving the door open. There is a part of you that if your not careful, instead of moving forward with the promises you have now, and the distance you made... you leave a little room, a little crack in the door just in case your in the mood to lose it all over again. CLOSE THE DOOR. You are the conductor of your own drama.

3) Don't hide the scars. Remember... why would Jesus still keep his scars? As a reminder of what was paid? Wouldn't rising from the dead, and salvation of your soul be enough? He had Thomas run his fingers through his scars as a tangible illustration of what? To validate... "I am HE" Your scars are your signature. Don't live with a fear of "I will never be able to forget this!!' GOOD. That means you won't have to be ignorant enough to go through that pain again. Your scars remind you of the pain... and the progress.

I am done with the drama. Every scene, every day... one filled with laughter, the other filled with a sorrow filled scene... all connected to the script of my previous stage. That play is over. I am now writing an epic that ends the way it was supposed to. Be done with drama. I am.

My email.

Standing on broken legs

2008-10-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

The other day I was listening to a song from "Leeland" It is on my profile on myspace right now, about the story of Mephibosheth. The story of Jonathan's son who was cripple. It is an amazing story of restoration. The greatest part of this story is it wasn't his fault. He was dropped when he was a baby. David made a promise to his best friend that he would take care of his son. Everything that was promised to Mephibosheth was taken from him. To make a long story short... he was cripple, but held his position. Standing on broken legs. Read the story some time.

2 things stuck out.

I have learned to stand... on broken legs.

My Birthday is 2 weeks away!!

2008-10-12T11:09:00.000-07:00

I refuse to let go of it!! I need this mac. God knows I need this mac, and I am believing Him for it. Pray with me... two weeks left.

{click mac for more dream info}

Enough said.

2008-10-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

This is a blog post from my cousin in response to a message he received. I had to post it, read it you'll understand why.

The ugly side of American politics is obvious. Candidates spend so much time smearing one another that there really is no time to present real ideas an agendas. So, people are left voting with their hearts and voting with celebrity. I had hoped that we could follow Michelle Obama's example and just shrug these issues off as normal political banter. However, since my sister has chosen to lash out against the GOP attacks, I have to stand up and call BS. I will not condone physical threats to Obama. That is reprehensible. But, blaming the entire GOP for the comments of some idiot is like blaming every Muslim for Al Qeda. Blaming all pro-life individuals for a bomber is like blaming every Christian for Jim Jones. It is like blaming every American for Lee Harvey Oswald. I will not address the smear campaigns that Democrats are running. Why bother? It is politics. Its is normal. However, your message makes it sounds like only one party is involved. This is not true. It is partisan and misleading. Both campaigns are wasting our time. Both sides are skirting the real issues and blinding us with double talk and half truth.

Let's look at one of your examples, the issue of Todd Palin and his membership in the Alaskan Independence party. I was in college during this time and was not really paying attention. But, I do not remember Alaska attacking the mainland. I don't remember any bombings. For the sake of argument, let's pretend like secession is the same thing as domestic terrorism. This defense is admittedly stupid and shallow, but it holds about as much weight as your Bill Ayers defense. Saying that Palin is disqualified for membership in Eskimoqueda holds about as much weight as my saying my sister cannot write pro-Obama blogs because she was a Reagan Republican from 1975-2005. Bill Ayers's reaction to Vietnam was atrocious, obviously. John McCain went back to Vietnam, after years as a POW, to normalize relations between our countries. He had a chance to leave his torment early because of his powerful family, but declined. Let's call that a draw and ignore any and all extremist bomber connections. We could debate the definition of terrorist. Going by your logic, we would have to add John Hancock (treason) and George Washington (guerilla rebel leader). For the record, I could give a crap about Bill Ayers and it has no bearing on my vote.

Is your argument that I, as a Christian, must stop being proud of the GOP because some idiotic hate speech during a rally...from the crowd? I have plenty of other reasons to not be proud of the GOP, thank you. Since you pulled the Jesus card, let's discuss one issue that we CAN clearly define the point of view Christ would take. It will be my one political issue that I address. Obama voted against a ban on partial birth abortion. Jesus would say that each of these lost lives is as valuable to Him as yours or mine. Let's take a quick overview of this process, for those that are not health teachers. The baby is drowned, more or less, with salt water. The remains are extracted from the "mother." However, many of these babies survive, which I don't think people realize. Those that survive are simply left to die, because killing them would be murder. Sometimes, a nurse with a heart will give them a blanket, so they will be a little warmer as they die. Christian or not, let's agree this is horrible. I was pro-choice until the day I heard Jadyn's (my daughters) heartbeat. Jen was about 6 weeks pregnant. This is the time where most, "safe, harmless," abortions are performed. Think about that for a second. Think of my little girl with her big beautiful eyes and bouncing curly hair. Then you think about the no less than 1.3 Americans that are aborted in a year. I don't think you need to ask Jesus how he feels about that. We hold rallies and make movies about genocide in foreign lands, but the killing of 1.3m inconvenient people a year in our own land is status quo. Do we still hold it as self evident that all men are created equal? Notice that it is not born equal. This is the ultimate glass house from which we throw stones, to borrow your metaphor.

I raised one of many issues where my beliefs overlap into my politics, but one issue does not decide my vote. The implication you made there, on behalf of Senator Obama, is a dangerous one. It is suggesting that one should vote a certain way, or they are not "christian." Republicans do this all the time and it is dangerous. Jesus only discussed Roman rule when He was directly asked about it. Let's just not go there.

I think everyone knows the racial makeup of your family, our family. This is also a dangerous, slippery slope. It sounds as if you are implying that Senator Obama is only enduring dirty campaign tactics because he is black. I can turn this right around and say that the only reason he attacked Senator Clinton during the primary is because she is a woman. Politicians attack one another, deal with it. Obama is doing an amazing job with this, follow his lead. Race is a huge problem in this country. Thousands, if not millions, of Americans will vote against him because he is black. This is undeniable and dispicable. Millions of Americans will also vote for him because he is black and because he is cool, without being able to name a single point on his platform. I believe this is also despicable.

Could it get any worse?

2008-10-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

Thought I would add segments of peoples bad days... sadly enough it might may your bad day a little easier :)

Watch as a bird poops in this guys mouth...

Off to Market

2008-10-08T18:50:00.000-07:00

I am finding myself in a whole new world. I have been asked to pursue a new role at the Hospital. They have expressed an interest in my playing apart in Marketing. Ironically enough I have an absolute interest. It gives me the opportunity to utilize my creativity while enhancing my training in it as well. I read a book not too long ago about the value of marketing in business and didn't really think twice about it but it did spark an interest. I know my wife and I will Pastor a church soon, so this will give me the ability to learn. I found an INCREDIBLE webpage regarding church marketing. churchmarketingsucks.com, there is so much that I wish I would have known before now like Branding, Demographics and Research, Creative Design, Logo Establishment. I am excited to start learning and applying. The greatest thing is the Hospital is equally excited. I will blog the progress of my learning. For now, check out church marketing sucks... it's great. They are totally a Christ centered ministry, but have a huge grasp on reality.

How to eat an elephant

2008-10-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

I heard a rather interesting euphemism today. "Sometimes things in your life are like an elephant on your plate. You can't eat it but one bite at a time"

I get so frustrated at myself at times because I look at where we are, I look at where we've been, but I also look at where we want to go. I can remember one time I was getting so frustrated driving one day. First, my car was going way to slow, my engine was whining and everyone around me was getting frustrated. I said "Great, stinken car. What now??" Then I looked down and saw my "automatic" car was in 2nd gear.

Sometimes it's easy to get so frustrated at how slow your life is going. You look at where you want to go, but the "vehicle" that your in (job, church, environment) has you way slowed down. You naturally blame it instead of the one behind the wheel. What if you are at one of the following places?

a) Your in a place where God has slowed you down to make you aware of some things in your life that need adjusted. Believe it or not, you can change your surroundings to try and change you... but it will be the same you, just different surroundings.

b) Your "2nd gear" syndrome is caused by you not following the automatic system of God's plan, and you did some "shifting" without realizing, you just put the direction and momentum in your own hands.

c) You are so focused on your destination you put too much responsibility on yourself for success. The greatest thing about a car? You don't have to turn the belts, or work the engine, or spin the tires. All you have to do is turn the key... but to ignite the contents you need the contents that drives your engine... you need fuel. Your only responsibility is to keep yourself filled... with belief (faith)

Start your day... don't run it. God said he would work it out if you trust Him. Who cares where you are right now, your on your way. If you feel frustrated at the rate of speed your life is going? Pull over, and put it in automatic and drive. He gave you the map, the vehicle and the direction, all you need to do is pull over every now and then and refuel. Fill up and stop the "shifting".

Just like an elephant on your plate. You can't eat it but one bite at a time.

P.O.O. (Power Of Opinion)

2008-10-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

I am perplexed at this present time. Perplexed... big word huh? It means "Completely Baffled". Imagine your walking down the hall of your home and you get hit in the back of the head with a frying pan... you turn around and your grandma is holding the pan. That look on your face? That's perplexed. I guess the reason I am perplexed is the state of our nation. It is a ping pong match of issues and responsibilities. If your like me you hear... "oil companies" or "CEO Bankruptcies" or any other issue and not really know who, what or how that affects my vote or views. First of all... I am not interested in you commenting me for a debate. You wanna vote for Obama... go you! You want to vote for McCain... same thing... Just know who to vote for. Don't let anyone or anything sway you from what you know is right, and the only one who will know that is you. Now, if you would like to comment on your opinion... that is what this is for. You may be able to enlighten someone who may not be aware of what the issues are. Just do me a favor... don't be boring. Be plain and simple to understand, if not... my A.D.D. and everyone else will kick in and you wont get read.

Now knowing how to go about sustaining a God Minded opinion? Thats for another blog :)

*side note* Now... don't turn me off. I know when I hear someone beginning to address this topic I roll my eyes and say "oh great" because it can get difficult to understand rather quickly. This is not an opportunity for me to share with you my P.O.O. (Power Of Opinion... I will share that with you in time) If we would understand that our opinion may not be the right one, but it's ours. It's your responsibility to verify your opinion because your opinion may very well set the pattern for someone else. Be careful, mindful and not stupid.

Do you know who your going to vote for? You need to. Alot of us would rather sit around and get our paychecks and whine about how much money is taken out in taxes. Or, some of us would rather watch the news when necessary to gain an opinion or sustain somewhat of a political conversation :) The only problem? The media will tell you what they want you to hear and believe. Time and time again the media has been used to sway voters. The term is Propaganda. You watch a video on John McCain by Obama and think... wow McCain is a jerk. You watch a video on Obama by McCain...same thing.

So, how do you determine who your going to vote for without just going for the party you were raised to vote for? Here is a few things that can help.

1) glassbooth.org - This is a quiz you can take. It gives you an opportunity to elect views that are important to you and when it's over gives you the candidate that agrees with your views.

2) Candidates - It shows you all the candidates... believe it or not, there are more than 2.

3) speakout.com - Gives you another more extensive quiz.

4) vote411.org - It gives a search engine to see how to register to vote and where to vote in your area.

Just a few things for you to scroll through to know what you know and why you believe it!! We can't just sit back and hope the best one wins. Vote, but know why and who. My opinion? Your right, it's my opinion. If you want to know who I am voting for... leave a comment :)

*Prediction? - I would not be shocked if Joe Biden suddenly has "medical issues" and the Democratic Party slips Hillary Clinton on the ballot. I would not be shocked at all!! Why? seems like it was planned from the beginning.

**UPDATE - Wow, not even an hour and through research look what I just found regarding the above prediction hmmmmm --> :o)

**UPDATE - 10/6./08

National Debt Clock had to add an number. It got to be so big, they ran out of slots on the counter - *shocking*

My Birthday Wish is STILL ALIVE!!!

2008-10-05T14:52:00.000-07:00

I refuse to let this go... I am believing for a miracle!!! :)

Ok, so they say you have not because you ask not.... so here it is. My birthday is coming up October 26th, so whoever is reading this... you know you want to get me this!!

(you can click the picture to get ordering info)

Yeah I know... it's awesome. My old mac has been so good to me and I am going to start some graphic and web design for the hospital, and start on a new book so this present computer wont hold up. It is a season of new beginnings so I am convinced it is on it's way!! Yeah I know, it's perfect !!!

Well, my address is:
8510 S. 28th St. #8
Fort Smith, AR. 72903

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this :) It is the perfect gift and I am so blown away :)

...ok I know that is so presumptuous but I have learned you can't ever out ask God. It is a HUGE gift... but my life at this point has been rescued by God, and if the Word says I have not because I ask not? Well, I am going to do my part and leave the rest to the big guy... God I mean. (need to sound respectful when you are asking for the impossible)

Phipps note :) Again I know I am insane in thinking all this, but I have opted out of thinking rationally. God has done even bigger... and this would benefit my job. So I refuse to do anything else but believe the impossible.

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!

Web Finds

2008-09-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

Every week I thought I would post some of the newest stuff I found online. Every now and then I find some crazy stuff, almost hard to believe... but it is true. I will post the site as well so you can see what I found.

This week I have found some incredible furniture and home furnishings all suspended by cable. Seems unreal, look it up:)

bernstein architecture link

Dear God...

2008-09-28T19:23:00.001-07:00

I browse a website that sends letters to God. This one stuck out for some reason.

(this is the website, link not added due to some content)

They give a forum for people to write God letters and be real anonymously. They say "wether your God is Allah, Buddah, Your inner self, it doesn't matter just talk). The only thing is when you hear these cries for something more, the other Gods don't respond. 99% of all the posts say "Dear God". The following is from that site, pic and all. It is a secular non religious page. Just a place for people to cry out to God. How would you respond to her?

God,
I know that there are people out there who have bigger problems than myself, but I just don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t feel valued. I feel lonely. And as I tear up, I notice how hurt I feel. There is my best friend - she is gorgeous…model potential, she’s top of the grade, she’s friendly, nice, fun to be around, major hit with the guys. Then there’s me. For about a year in year 8 (now in year 11), I was known as the girl who hangs around ——–. I never had a problem with it.

But now, I am just so sick and tired of it. I can honestly say that I work my butt off. I love my best friend and all, but seriously, she just sits back and gets it all! The teachers love her, the girls love her, the guys love her. It is just so frustrating to always come through second best, if that. But, thats not only why I feel the way I feel. I, just, I feel like no one understands how I am feeling. I have had mild acne for about 2 years but i’m on medication, and its practically gone now, but i do feel depressed, which is a side affect of this medication. I haven’t told anyone. I constantly feel sad…and I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. And that’s why I can’t tell anybody.
I recently told this best friend that I felt like my life was falling apart…she asked me how…. I told her I couldn’t explain it, everything just felt really wrong….and she said nothing. Shouldn’t a best friend notice this? I am so bright and usually smiley-happy, and it’s like she doesn’t give a damn. Even a girl who i wouldn’t call a close friend asked me if I was okay….

I know my mum has noticed this, she hasn’t said she kows, but I know she knows….and she has been a great help, but I still feel this pain. God, can you please just help me get over this! Give something to me…something which I want, desperately. It’s just so unfair how someone with everything already is still getting more. Help me God, please.

Anonymous - Australia

What I do...

2008-09-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

I have some ask me just what I do at the Hospital. Well, I am in Hospice and Palliative Care. I know, I didn't know what that meant either. There really is no other way to describe it.

(Here is the Hospital)

Palliative care (from Latin palliare, to cloak) is any form of medical care or treatment that concentrates on reducing the severity of disease symptoms, rather than striving to halt, delay or reverse progression of the disease itself or provide a cure. The goal is to prevent and relieve suffering and to improve quality of life for people facing serious, complex illness. Non-hospice palliative care is not dependent on prognosis and is offered in conjunction with curative and all other appropriate forms of medical treatment. It should not be confused with hospice care which delivers palliative care to those at the end of life.

Basically? To give care to those who have illnesses that cannot be cured. It is a decision that the family and patient if health willing, make together. My job is to get people who will volunteer and help in the passing. Sit with them, run errands for the family, and just love on these people as they prepare for life to end. If your not careful, it can really weigh heavy on you. How do you give hope to the dying? How do you help people process their momma laying there fighting to breathe? We provide them medication to soothe their suffering and an environment for the families to enjoy their last days on this earth.

You have people who hate God. Who pray for healing and don't get it. People who come in bitter and so angry at life, but when we step in? We help untie the knots spiritually as well as physically. Lung Cancer, Brain Tumors any terminal disease... and some of them are children. We help them with their pain so they can spend the final days here tying up what needs done with their families and heal them spiritually. If it sounds a lot like ministry, it is.

Phipps Note :) It is definitely different. I am stepping in for someone who has done this for 15 years and is winding down to retire. It is rather comical. I have 3 cell phones and a pager. 1) personal 2) radio station 3) pager and phone for the Hospital. I feel like a walking telecommunications kiosk. I never expected to be in a place like this. A hospital?? But I know God is in control and we are ministering to people everyday, in a very real world. I am learning to love on people in the midst of some of the most pivotal times of there life.

James 1:27 "Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows (those who can't help themselves) in their troubles"

Impossible is nothing!

2008-09-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

The post under this one is the explanation for my blog change... but I had to state the following :)

Ok, so they say you have not because you ask not.... so here it is. My birthday is coming up October 26th, so whoever is reading this... you know you want to get me this!!

(you can click the picture to get ordering info)

Yeah I know... it's awesome. My mac has been so good to me and I am going to start some graphic and web design for the hospital, and start on a new book. It is a season of new beginnings so I am convinced it is on it's way!! Yeah I know, it's perfect !!!

Well, my address is:
8510 S. 28th St. #8
Fort Smith, AR. 72903

479.739.8877

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this :) It is the perfect gift and I am so blown away :)

...ok I know that is so presumptuous but I have learned you can't ever out ask God. It is a HUGE gift... but my life at this point has been rescued by God, and if the Word says I have not because I ask not? Well, I am going to do my part and leave the rest to the big guy... God I mean. (need to sound respectful when you are asking for the impossible)

Phipps note :) Pray for April she threw her back out working out. I know that pain very well. Also, pray for CJ. If he asked me once he has asked me 100 times for Chan to spend the night... AGAIN!! I dont care at all, they get along great... but it is a school night and if he asks me again... I may have to kill him... or at least hug him really hard and bit his neck until he laughs hard enough to pee... you get my point.

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!

No more stitches.

2008-09-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

At some point in your life, you have to get beyond initial impact. My blog to this point was one stitch at a time. It was what it needed to be. Healing has to happen.

heal |hēl|
verb [ trans. ]
(of a person or treatment) cause (a wound, injury, or person) to become sound or healthy again
• [ intrans. ] become sound or healthy again :
• alleviate (a person's distress or anguish) : time can heal the pain of grief.
• correct or put right (an undesirable situation)

You have to walk on a broken ankle eventually. You have to put weight on broken legs if you ever want to walk again. It hurts, it's uncomfortable... but a necessity. It is time to go beyond the pain and heal. In order for LIFE to keep it's course, when it receives it's injuries... you have to LIVE.

Phipps note :) We are good and excited about what is next. God blows my mind. If you ever doubt what God has for your life, as cliche as it sounds, ask Him. He will show you, maybe a God Wink but it comes. Days will never get easier, if they did... it would just be another yesterday. April started at SPARKS Hospital and I started at St. Edwards Mercy. She is the Unit Secretary and I am the Volunteer Coordinator for Hospice. Mercy Hospital is a Faith Based Ministry, even though it is a hospital. We have started a regiment at the Fitness Center. April is amazing. She has lost almost 10 pounds and walks 2 miles a day. We have really moved into a level of health that we don't want to stop.

Don't let life live for you... you live your life!

Keys to your Kingdom

2008-09-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in ones life where you are faced with a serious decision. No, it's not just about paper or plastic... and what is up with them always asking that anyways? Who wants to carry a paper bag with no handles?? Well, there does come that time. You ever find yourself at a place where you have to go on a trip or leave for some reason and need someone to watch your house? While your gone? That's huge. That means they have 100% access to your stuff while your away. Like... the stuff in the top drawer or see the DVDs your probably dont want the church to know you own?

I guess my question... how do you go about choosing that person? What do they need to possess to even be a candidate for access into your (ahem) privacy? There comes that place where you have to evaluate it. Are they trustworthy? Will they spill the beans about you owning "Love Guru" on DVD? :) WIll they go through that top drawer or better yet, tell everyone what is actually in your fridge? It all boils down to this "trust". you have to initially trust them. Thats huge. We have all either had a trust broken or misused. So, do you never let anyone in your fridge again??

I have learned and have been the recipient of the following. The only way to repair a broken trust is to dare yourself to trust again. Sadly enough you will most likely get hurt again but not for long. Why? Because you learn through time who you can trust and who carries those traits. You know... it's hard. To write blogs. I read some blogs that cover topics or make an exhaustive attempt and building a sermonette, Nuggets of wisdom from a road traveled with a plea of "please comment". Me? I have poured my heart and brain on every blog (except for the stupid funny stuff and the political endorsement... just needed to make my decision known). For the most part I have been so vulnerable on my posts it almost scares me. But... that is why I stopped posting on myspace about my blog. If your reading this it is 1 of 2 things.

1) You... just like me, need a nugget every now and then to keep my hearts compass on track.

or

2) Feel connected to me in some way that you are either concerned about our family and this keeps you informed of our progress or just feel connected to the way I communicate.

Regardless!! It is an honor for me to have you present at my lifes curves and turns. I try to refrain from speaking on Aprils behalf because I love an respect her and she has her own voice.

Don't ever take for granted the people you trust. They are hard to come by. My actions did not and should not have affected a "trust" level for you... for my family, yes.. you? No. Why? The vow I made to you to always love you and be here for you still stands. If you are MC Alumni, I do apologize for the hell I put you through due to the impact you felt for the love of my family. I love you all so much and can only pray when you hear the words "Spiritual Father" it still applies. Heros may save the day, but there is always an arch rival that sometimes has just enough kryptonite to cause damage. Haven't posted in a while, and needed to spill. Just know I am here, and I am not going anywhere. Hold those you trust close, and be trustworthy. It's priceless.

To help you know when I post, you can choose to follow at the bottom or let me know... I can set up an automatic email post alert. Regardless, I will blog. Love you all and go cowboys :)

Yes, it is the right choice.

2008-09-20T14:31:00.001-07:00

Find more photos like this on John McCain 2008

This week

2008-09-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

I am tired :) It's been a busy week and tiring week. There has been alot go on this week. For starters? I found out Ray Boltz is gay?? What is up with that? I am the last person to judge anyone... I guess it's well for one, very gross, and 2 very shocking!! It's everywhere. Trust me I know that feeling... but still I can remember songs when I was younger. Classics man... like "I will praise the Lord" and "Thank you" or "I nailed him there"... wait, that song isn't good for me to reference during this story...ew.

But it's been busy and strange. Ever have one of those weeks were you feel like your watching your life? Like an outer body experience? Yeah one of those. I haven't blogged in a few days. I wanted to thank everyones messages about the blog. It is an incredible way to process life. It's funny, I have people ask me if I read there blogs or get umpteen blog invites on myspace... I just enjoy allowing my heart to spill and my brain. There are times I really miss ministry...alot. This Blog gives me an opportunity to keep those things alive in me... God is in control. It is tough and maybe even unbearable at times but... I really do trust God and hope for the best.

This week did start good... did I mention... THE COWBOYS BEAT THE EAGLES??

God Wink

2008-09-17T15:33:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here at the station during my show... trying to learn to multi task :) Just so you know, I would normally go on myspace and post bulletins about my blog. I am not gonna do that anymore. Not for any reason, just at the point If you want to read then you will... believe it or not, this blog is as much for me and myspace is kind of a hassle. I apologize for the other video on the right. I am doing some marketing for the station and need to use my account for now.

I heard a story today and I have to share it.

I am reading a book from a friend of mine from a previous blog... Bill. I met him at the hopspital and he read my mail... Anyways- I read a story today regarding God winks. Those moments you know when your at your grandpas and you look at him and at the same time he looks at you and winks as if to say "I'm looking at you too... love you" assuring he knows you are there?

Cheryl was driving through Southern California and was passing by the Crystal Cathedral and had promised herself for years she would visit. The next day a friend asked her to go. She thought to herself... "I might as well." As she sat there in service on Sunday she looked at the emaculate sanctuary, watched as they opened the ceiling during worship as if to even let the birds experience what she was experiencing and just felt like she made the right choice. As she was gathering her things to go after service she noticed a young woman doing the same. She said "Beautiful service..." The young woman agreed and through conversation began to tell her that she wasn't from Califronia. She told her "I actually moved here because through a long search I found out my birth mother was located somewhere close to here and I am trying to find her." Cheryl said "I had to make the horrible decision to let my daughter go when I was a teenager. I have been asking God for wisdom on how to find her". The young woman paused and said "when is her birthday?" Cheryl said "December 9th" The young woman began to cry and said "that's my birthday" and through the next hour they both realized what God had done.

God Wink. Even those moments you wonder..."Why am I here, and does He even know what's going on in my life?" God Wink moments. Trust me. He knows.

Thanks Bill.

Break the silence

2008-09-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

I put together a video blog for this one. You should see it on your right.

I put the video together today, just something that ran through my heart, I pray it's a blessing.

IMAGINATION V. INSPIRATION

2008-09-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

I know my last post was just me being a dork... but I read my devotion today and had to post it. Normally I would think, pray and write... but today I had to post my devotion.

"The simplicity that is in Christ." 2 Corinthians 11:3

Simplicity is the secret of seeing things clearly. A saint does not think clearly for a long while, but a saint ought to see clearly without any difficulty. You cannot think a spiritual muddle clear, you have to obey it clear. In intellectual matters you can think things out, but in spiritual matters you will think yourself into cotton wool. If there is something upon which God has put His pressure, obey in that matter, bring your imagination into captivity to the obedience of Christ with regard to it and everything will become as clear as daylight. The reasoning capacity comes afterwards, but we never see along that line, we see like children; when we try to be wise we see nothing (Matthew 11:25).

The tiniest thing we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is quite sufficient to account for spiritual muddle, and all the thinking we like to spend on it will never make it clear. Spiritual muddle is only made plain by obedience. Immediately we obey, we discern. This is humiliating, because when we are muddled we know the reason is in the temper of our mind. When the natural power of vision is devoted to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the power of perceiving God's will and the whole life is kept in simplicity.

...Don't know about you... but I need my life kept as simple as possible right now. Simple... the secret of seeing things clearly.

If walls could talk...

2008-09-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

...Then we would be scared when we walked into the room. They would be like "Hey" and you would turn around looking for someone, and no one would be there. We would be scared if walls could talk.

What a day...

2008-09-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

Today on the show I really didn't know what to do. I mean we focused on abstinence and the importance of purity in teens. Its been interesting. Alot of interviews, great sound bytes... but it has been a challenge.

I guess the best way to explain is where I am and what I have been through. I have learned that you can not allow yourself to be silenced by your past. It will decapitate your ability to stand. Hypocrisy is defined as "an actor on the stage"... do the study...thats what it says. Your mind will throw some serious blows. I am a student of my mistakes. The greatest mistake is when you don't learn from it. I had to force myself and massage the muscles of my faith to breathe again. Being able to address an issue regarding standards has been a challenge. But, I feel not only clean but intact. I moved beyond that and today I experienced the fruit of my efforts.

All week I have addressed this issue of abstinence, but also the gap of communication between parents and teens, today I opened the lines for Parents to call. My show is focused on helping a parent understand there teen and building a line of communication through understanding. Today a mom called in and said "I really need help" She told me her son took a vow of purity but has walked away from it. He and his girlfriend don't consider it wrong because they "leave there clothes on" (enough said). Over the next 25 minutes I spent time LIVE on the air giving her resources to talk to her son. And then I said "I don't know why... but I feel like you don't have a voice because you made mistakes as well, and you are ashamed of yourself" ... and that's when it happened. She broke. She wept on the air and the waves of her shame slowly started to calm. I told her "You have a better understanding and view because the road your son is about to take... you walked down" I told her "I am not going to talk about your son one more second... I am gonna pray for you to forgive yourself... can I tell you something?" ... "yes" she said. "Your a good mom, your an incredible person because you didn't quit... God loves you and I am so proud of you" That's when I had to play a song and go off the air to pray because she just broke and couldn't talk. All she needed to hear was she wasn't garbage and she was a good person...regardless of her past. She can now tell her son what she went through without shame, but confidence in where she has been. I told her before she hung up "What you did is not who you are, you are a wife and a mom that has built a strong family"

Imagine if I would allow the guilt and shame game keep running plays in my head and heart? God gave me an opportunity to do once again what I love and was born to do. Fix broken people. You can read about Gods forgiveness all you want... I needed Greg forgiveness. Now? My show has a heart. Parents are calling me asking me how to fix their kids. I am now getting to fix the parents first.

Listen. Mistakes are gonna take place. Learn from them. I have learned, the people who criticize you, really haven't learned from their mistakes... those of us who have walked the line, taken the stage and received our diploma from "Mistakes Made University"? We will walk with you... not against you. We know what it took, and what it takes to survive and will help you study for your exam... because the reward? Priceless.

"No matter how thick the clouds get, or how hard the rain falls... the sun hasn't gone anywhere"

"I don't know man..."

2008-09-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

Was talking to a friend today and it brought something to my attention. Have you ever been talking to someone who's words are begging for your advice? All the while they are talking to you waiting for these "jems" of wisdom to pour out of your mouth? The entire time they are talking to you in your mind your thinking "Jesus help me, I have no idea what the heck I am gonna say" And you know if the words "I don't know what to tell you man" You know it would not only shift there situation but would altar the obvious opportunity God has given you? I was there. I have been there... but I have learned through time that those moments are priceless. There has been times I have said "buddy I wish I had an answer but I love you" I used to live with the pressure to the point I didn't respond to voice mails or phone calls cuz I just didn't have anything to say. Well... again in my opinion :)

There are a few things that I have discovered.

1) How prideful can I be thinking that they didn't have anybody else to call to get advice... the majority of the time they just knew you would listen.

2) Most of my close friends usually end the conversation with whatever advice you give them with "I dont know what I am gonna do man" and tell you they love you.

3) The are honestly looking for something to confirm what they are already feeling, but trust you to hold what they are holding as heartfelt close personal info.

From this point... when I get the calls and conversations on advice... I give it. Thus the value of understanding your opinion, In my conversation this evening? I told him in my heart what I felt. Why?

4) They are calling YOU because they know you will be honest... and it's ok to say you don't what to tell them. They just needed someone to talk to.

It just hit me today after an hour and a half phone call and at the end he said "What your telling me I was gonna do anyways... just wanted to hear you say it"'

I love my friends. :)

Laugh, whence, maybe even cry a little

2008-09-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry, needed to laugh today :)

So... opinions?

2008-09-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

You know, I'm not gonna get defensive. I'm not gonna react I am gonna respond. I feel that is my problem sometimes. I am not going to do what every other Christian does and say "we". I am gonna say me. Watching the VMA's I am not shocked at all. The way the Jonas brothers are criticized for their standards. First of all, I have no place to debate standards. It would be easy to wave standards, easy to raise standards... a mission to live by them. I am not shocked that the Emcee that ran the VMA's stood shocked and completely out of place. Shouting suggestions for us to vote and who to vote for. I am not shocked that a multitude of individuals stood in shock as the Republican candidate for VP pulled the pants down of the entire democratic party. I am not shocked. Why? You can't look to anything...anyone... or any situation to stand for you.

As a church...(clear my throat) a christian...a person... my observation is the majority of us have called shotgun to way too many band wagons. It's easy to get caught in a large enough fight that you start swinging, hurting and hitting just simply to defend yourself. You have to know who you are. Those of you that know me and the road I have walked... has been mine. Regardless of how I got here, how far I am and where it leads... I am on this road. Shame, guilt and remorse can blind, cripple and mislead me. You will not read a thing on this blog that begs for understanding or pity. Why? None of those things will speed up or hurry along His progress for my life. Along this road, along this path is showing me the me that got lost. How? Being lost... I have found me and am continuing to find me. With this discovery I have heard my voice. Not a voice that echo's what I am pretty sure exists. I know and am continuing to know... me. I have tried to find myself in so many things. You have to find your mirror. I know the bible says that "it" is the mirror... but don't you have to be looking into a mirror to actually see it's reflection?

So? Why this blog. Don't look, listen or rely on anything else or anyone for your opinion. Your opinion is a mixture of your conviction and your authority. Conviction? What you are convinced of. If your not convinced... you can be convinced otherwise... trust me on this one. I taught it... and then learned it. Your authority? What you 'author' in your life... and that is where your relationship with God comes in. He authors in your life through your journey... and what you create? No one can argue how it was created or it's ingredients... it's yours.

Don't get pissed that the Jonas brothers are getting jabbed because of there convictions. Don't preach how the world doesn't appreciate standards. Unless there your standards... put that flag away. They are the ones that not only get the backlash... but the reward. Don't get caught up in enjoying the echo's of standards... soon enough, those hearing you will look for the source in you and you won't have the resource to collect on.

Don't get upset that people are upset that everyone in Hollywood is screaming "vote Obama!" Why not vote for Obama? You better know why? Sure George Bush is looked at as the 4th stooge in politics. But do you know what he really did for our nation? you have to know why and who to vote for.

You are the only you that really knows the true you. Build you, understand you and care about you. Know your voice, know your reasons and know your standards. Then? You might be able to start the humble beginnings of an opinion.

Hospital holiness

2008-09-06T08:34:00.000-07:00

I really am not sure who all reads this. I kinda do this for personal reasons as well, but I have to post what happened to me last week.

One of the ladies at my work mentioned that her dad was in the hospital with signs of cancer. He has gone through so much chemo that it burned his vocal chords. Well, I couldn't shake the fact that I was supposed to go see him in the hospital. You know, when you work at a church and are in the ministry...hospital visits some how become an obligation. I wanted to go just to be a good person. Well, if your like me you say "Hey I am gonna go see your dad" then you just put it in the back of your head.

The other day, I left work and took a wrong turn. I drove for awhile and believe it or not... I ended up in the parking lot of the hospital. I knew what I was supposed to do.

I went upstairs and walked in to the room. As soon as I walked in... something began to happen. I looked at a 87 year old man who has been cooked by chemo, his cute little wife and sister in law. Seeing as they don't know me whatsoever, they began to talk to me as if I was apart of the family. I sat there and went with the intention of encouraging him and telling him not to give up. That's when it started.

I sat down and started the normal "how are you's" and what not and he wasn't having it. He lifted his arm, pointed his finger and said "you sir need to hear me". His hand started shaking from a lack of strength and his voice scratching from all the radiation... "you are in a holding pattern. God has his hand on your life and is in control. Don't you quit" He doesn't know me at all. He began to tell me that there was something special about me. How important it is to fix people and love on the hurting. How He could see God's hand on my life and how he can see in my eyes I am tired... but I can make it. This went on for 45 minutes. I just sat there and listened holding back emotion. He handed me a book titled "When God Winks At You" (when God confirms destiny through coincidence)

I sat in a stunned holiness. I prayed for him and his wife asked me to please come back. He gave me his cell phone number and demanded I call him. Understand. His knees look like basketballs due to arthritis from years of laying carpet, his skin and insides burned from radiation, his voice gone from a singed vocal chord. Every 10 or 15 words he had to stop and cough and clear his throat because of the damage but he wouldn't stop... and God spoke through him to get to me.

I sat in my car and wept. I cried for sometime. I came home and tried to tell April and broke down again. I guess what I am trying to tell you is... we need to understand... God will find you and talk to you... when you need it. Be encouraged and take it from one who is on the threshold of a whole new life. Stop whining and keep your chin up. Keep going and do what you know and feel what you are supposed to do. Bottom line? God is there so shut up, put up, and give up.

Love my fam :)

2008-09-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

I know I posted already today... but I had to show off my family :)

Stitches.

Teenage Equation

2008-09-03T17:47:00.000-07:00

Tonight on my show I focused the entire show on young people. The topic was "The Teenage Equation". For some reason I have always been a young soul. There is something about young people that I have a heart for. Now more than ever it seems like the majority of influence in media is driven towards teens. Not only that... kids are waaay above there age level. Shoot, CJ is 10 but has the intelligence of a 13 year old. I told them "if you are at a place where you feel distant from your kids and feel like your teens are a foreigner in your family...listen to this show". It's funny cuz I had a Pastor even call and say that if churches would take time and realize we are not doing anything or building anything to make kids want to even come to church, or utilize the word to their advantage. I understand that. I understand principle. But... what about what's going on in the mind of the young person. I guess the best way to describe what I am saying is, how do you get the voice that is going on in their head... out of their mouth? There is a way. I want parents to not just demand respect or attention, but give respect and attention.

Pray for me as I am hitting into a culture where kids are expected to just go to church and deal with it. The passion aspect. How to shift the "have to's" into "want to's". The statement out here? "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink" Me? I am just trying to get the kids to trust you enough to even tell you their thirsty.

Back up

2008-09-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

It is supposed to rain here for three days, flash flood warnings, crazy weather. Ironically enough... right in the middle of my show, the power goes out at the station. I mean I had a great show today. I talked about the media and news stations and how everything is negative. Even though New Orleans made it without as much damage as expected, the news portrayed it as negative. Anyways. As the power went out there was a back up battery system to save data. Something hit me. Un expected things happen that we don't expect. What do we have as a back up? Friends, family. I encourage you to build your backup. Invest in those things. Believe it or not, you need back up. People that can back you up when you need it. I have brothers. My brother Billy who is always there for me, Mark and Matt who would go to the ends of of the earth for me. I am so grateful for the backup in my life. My wife April is the ultimate back up. Don't take the backup for granted. I pray for you, that you make it in life... but you need people who love you unconditionally.

I can't help but think about Fred and Barney. No matter how much of a jerk Fred is to Barney... he is always there for him. There is something to be said there. backup. Fred is a nice guy at times... but when he needs a friend he knows who to turn to. I am at a time in my life where I need it now more than ever. Pray for me. I am at a crossroad to know what to do with my career. The radio station or the hospital. Backup... it is a priority. Understand, backup needs maintained. Charged... ready for a crisis. Call your friends. Stay connected, because they need you too.

"I fond myself lost at times, but what happens the when I can't find myself at all?"

something

2008-08-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

"Just because I can not do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."

Ouch :/

2008-08-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

Pray for us, I was at the station yesterday and my back bottomed out. I hope I didn't agitate my Herniated disk. I literally can't stand straight, I am having to hunch everywhere. I have 2 days to figure something out before I get back to work. As I type this I am on the heating pad. April has been fighting alergies like I have never seen before. Her eyes are swollen and she is really fighting it. We are hoping we don't have to move apartments and Chance has a fever and a cold. We are a mess. But, 3 steps forward, 1 step back is not that bad.

A random listener :)

2008-08-28T20:17:00.001-07:00

The unseen xx

2008-08-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

"...faith is the evidence of things unseen" that's the part I don't like. When you think of faith it's difficult to remember the unseen. The unseen is the hardest part. Think about it...

evidence |ˈevədəns|
noun
the available body of facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid

Available facts? Hardly available. Information to validate a belief? That's just it. You have to believe wether you see it or not. Faith...that's the evidence. Your faith is the indicator. You believing says it all. Closing your eyes is the only way to make it. I have learned that I am too effected by what I see.

What I see? Hard times, empty pockets, distance from destiny.

What I know? God is faithful. So, basically. You don't like what you see? Because what you see is not what you get...it's just what you got.

My advice? If what you see is gripping your trust by the throat and choking your ability to believe... close your eyes :)

No room to complain...

2008-08-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

I know I posted earlier tonight about my radio thing, but sitting at the station tonight I was waiting to start a live feed. While I sat there waiting for Focus on the Family to finish... tonight's show was with Steven Curtis Chapman. He was sharing with James Dobson about the loss of his daughter Maria. Listening to the scars in his voice was indescribable. What they have gone through, what they have had to live without. He mentioned a conversation he had with his wife this morning. She said with tears streaming down her face..."you know Steve... I know she is in Heaven... I know I have told so many people that we know she is in a better place... I know what I said... but I just want my baby girl back". There son didn't see her playing in the driveway and backed over her with the car. They have lost there baby. I can not begin to imagine or describe what we would be like or life without our baby boy. You know we have been through a lot. Some self inflicted due to weakness and ignorance, but through the Grace of God and awareness of my treasure now... tonight I am in a place of peace. I have my family. There is nothing more valuable. I posted a video of Steven Curtis Chapman and Maria that they aired on there appearance Larry King Live. They tell him the story of how it all happened. Again... please, don't take the everyday for granted.

Well he's back on the radio :)

2008-08-26T18:02:00.000-07:00

I uploaded a clip from todays show...

I am excited about being at the station. I pray it continues for as long as God will allow me. There really isn't alot of money in radio... but at this point it has attached me to ministry and that is like CPR to my insides. I forgot how much I love it. We are at the threashold of something amazing in my family... I can feel it. Hope you enjoy the clip... my actaul 1 hour non stop show starts Sept. 1st. They have given me full freedom to run with it. Anything I want... scary I know :) I will keep you posted... it's below so you can hear it :)

Things we take for granted...

2008-08-25T20:39:00.000-07:00

I am so thankful for things that have become less important to our family focus. Every night we would be so busy we would just whip up dinner, pull out the tv trays and eat on the go. TV on and gazing at the screen. Lately we have eaten every meal together at our table. CJ talks about things at school. April and I laughing at silly things throughout the day. It's funny...kinda... that CJ cant even sit still long enough to let alone eat, but hold a conversation. Little things that get caught up in the business of a schedule. Little things like reading my sons comic books that he draws up and responding in resounding praise for his efforts. Little things like laying together and enjoying the Olympics. It's those things that build a family. More than dressing up and attending church, but going to church together and discussing the service after, like helping your son sell his coupon books for a fundraiser at school.... can you believe school just started and they already have him selling stuff? Anyways, just hit me today, how our family is rediscovering the gifts hidden in the little things. Things you feel that you lost... they are there, they are just hidden... in the little things.

Try it. Find something that you might think is just not that important. Things you kinda set aside due to not having time. It's those things that built your relationships in the first place. Try one of these...

1) Go through your contact list on your cell phone and find someone you haven't talked to in awhile and call them. Tell them you were just thinking about them and you love them.

2) Freak your mom out and send her an email thanking her for everything she has been to you... just because she is your mom.

3) Turn the tv off at dinner and enjoy no noise.

4) Call your brother and tell him you love him... then call him a fag :)

5) Comment on your friends blog and tell him he's an intelligent genius and how good his blog is :)

Try at least one of these... little things make a big difference (sounds like a bumper sticker)

Perplexed

2008-08-23T07:11:00.000-07:00

I have started at the station. It is going to be interesting. They are at a place where they need someone to give it a shot in the arm financially an energy wise... so, part time pay with a full time commitment is what they are wanting. They have given me keys to the station, a Nextel phone and I start in production tomorrow night. They are great people and truly have a heart for ministry. I have also been approached by the Hospital here in town regarding a co-chaplaincy position. I have an interview with a board of 7 doctors on Thursday. I would LOVE to pour myself into the station and use creativity to make a difference, stay connected to ministry. But we need supported. I am just praying God show me what to do. It is a tough place to be in. I m sure we all have experienced that. Want and need. I know God gives you the desire of your heart... but understand. The desire of my heart? To take care and protect my family. I have to allow ministry to become an outcome not a destination. On a side note...I had an amazing thing happen yesterday. I received a phone call from a Pastor of a church we use to minister at every year. He told me he wanted to sow into what April and I were going to become and he is supporting us monthly. I have had folks support what I was doing... never sow into what I was to become. It was a very moving conversation. Support is amazing but when it is tangible? Shakes your insides. Pray for me, just want to be what I need to be. Regardless, I have been given my own show that starts Sept. 1st. It will be a mixture of everything. Music, interviews, local bands... the works. They are wanting me to pull in a local view. I need a name for the show!! It is going to be a variety show... but eck, I dont want to call it a variety show... any suggestions?? They are starting me at an hour a day, but want to push it to two if it takes off. I am taking suggestions. Well, I am off to have a day with my family. Be blessed.

"Tomorrow is going to be another today, unless you take today to change your tomorrow"

We will see...

2008-08-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

Well, today was a pretty rainy day. Alot of rain. We went to church this evening as a family. I got a call before Church regarding an interview tomorrow. Not too long ago I had my own Radio Program in Cincinnati. I had my own Morning Show for about 6 years. It was the "More Music Morning Show" on WNLT. I also pioneered a Youth Rock show called Club 104. I spent some time with ALOT of of artists. Michael W. Smith, Steven Curtis Chapman, 4 Him, Toby and DC Talk, All Star United... Honestly, all of the big dogs. I spent alot of time with them as well. Talked about Masters with Steven Curtis Chapman, Pot Roast with All Star, Argued with Micah from Five Iron Frenzy...long story. Spent time with Toby talking about his record label before it started. Had long conversations with Tammy Trent and her husband just 3 years before he died. Laughed with 4Him when Andy got his first tattoo and passed out... I even played Jenga with Whiteheart...yeah, I know. I also did a summer concert series and emceed alot of there shows. I say that because I am interviewing for a radio station tomorrow here in Fort Smith. Morning Show, Production and Marketing. I feel good about this due to my experience, but I do want what God wants. I am asking those who view this to pray for me. It's something I would def. enjoy. If your like me you would read something like this about somebody wanting prayer, but I have learned to try to take those with heart, Do me a favor and just whisper a prayer for me. I hope it works out. It is a great station, good people. I will keep you posted on the progress. Please feel free to comment here on my blog as well. We will see I guess :)

Thanks all-

Greg

Band Geek Hero

2008-08-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

I am sure you are all familiar with Guitar Hero...if your a parent...you know what I'm talking about. Well, what if your not a cool rocking guitar type person? Your more of a band geek? Well...your in luck!...here are some of my top favs...

AND THEN MY FAVS??

AND MY NUMBER 1??

Thought I would drop a funny today... these are actually are t-shirts, if you want one let me know. hope you enjoyed it :)

First day of school...

2008-08-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

This morning April and I walked with CJ into his new school. He started his first day of 5th grade. Yesterday around 3pm, he kicked into gear. His mom cut his hair, he disappeared into his room. A few minutes later he surfaced with newly clipped nails and his clothes laid out. He put himself to bed at 9:30 and forced himself to sleep. The next morning his mom woke him up at 7 and he shot up and jumped in the shower. When i surfaced around 7:45, unshowered with a hat on :) He was sitting on the couch with his new backpack. We got to his school and he and his mom went back and forth about where his class was due to his open house a few days earlier...he was right. I mean come on... just look at this guy!!

He obviously gets this from his mother. My mom couldnt pry me out of bed. I tried to invent new diseases and illnesses so I wouldn't have to go to school. I dreaded it. I am glad he gets those things from his mom. He challenged me as I watched him face the unknown with such strength. So honestly? It wasn't just his first day of school... he took me to school today. His courage, his fortitude, and his ability to adapt. He also came home with a "stack a' stuff" If you don't know what that means? You gotta ask him :) That's my boy! We couldn't be more proud!!

My devotion today, thought I would share it with you...

2008-08-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

"Yet lackest thou one thing; sell all that thou hast . . and come, follow Me." Luke 18:22

"And when he heard this . . ." Have you ever heard the Master say a hard word? If you have not, I question whether you have heard Him say anything. Jesus Christ says a great deal that we listen to, but do not hear; when we do hear, His words are amazingly hard.

Jesus did not seem in the least solicitous that this man should do what He told him, He made no attempt to keep him with Him. He simply said - Sell all you have, and come, follow Me. Our Lord never pleaded, He never cajoled, He never entrapped; He simply spoke the sternest words mortal ears ever listened to, and then left it alone.

Have I ever heard Jesus say a hard word? Has He said something personally to me to which I have deliberately listened? Not something I can expound or say this and that about, but something I have heard Him say to me? This man did understand what Jesus said, he heard it and he sized up what it meant, and it broke his heart. He did not go away defiant; he went away sorrowful, thoroughly discouraged. He had come to Jesus full of the fire of earnest desire, and the word of Jesus simply froze him; instead of producing an enthusiastic devotion, it produced a heart-breaking discouragement. And Jesus did not go after him, He let him go. Our Lord knows perfectly that when once His word is heard, it will bear fruit sooner or later. The terrible thing is that some of us prevent it bearing fruit in actual life. I wonder what we will say when we do make up our minds to be devoted to Him on that particular point? One thing is certain, He will never cast anything up at us.

~Oswald Chambers

Running with the Pac

2008-08-16T20:12:00.000-07:00

I am taken back by a young man who has impressed me lately. I watched him as he made some HUGE mistakes, but I watched him as he fought to get back.

Adam Jones (PacMan)

Here is what happened.
*Near the 2007 NFL Draft, Jones's off-field issues (one revealed instance involved in a fist fight and a shooting in a Las Vegas strip club that paralyzed manager Tommy Urbanski) led many to believe that the Titans would cut or trade Jones before his third season in the league began. On April 10, 2007, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced a 1-year suspension for Jones, to be re-evaluated after the 10th regular-season game, pending disposition of current cases.

So... he is suspended for making a mistake. Causing damage to people who cared for him. He was faced with a choice... he knew what he had to do...

* Jones took out a full ad in the Tennessean, promising "he'll win back trust" of his teammates and fans." "To my family, teammates, coaches and fans, I recognize that I have lost the right to ask for your patience and understanding," Jones wrote. "However, I will do everything in my power to regain your trust and respect."

In his apology, Commissioner Roger Goodell still suspended him... but there are those who knew his talent and ability...and vouched for him. On April 24, Hall of Famer Jim Brown announced that he had offered his support and help to Jones while in Dallas. Former Cowboys teamates and NFL standouts Michael Irvin and Deion Sanders have also both expressed a willingness to help the troubled cornerback.He said earlier in an interview on a Tennessee radio station he said..."I have always want to be a Cowboy, and where the number 21" So... Now? He is not only a Cowboy...but is fully reinstated.

When you fall down, sometimes the only way back up...is a hand to lift you. Those don't come often. There a few people who want to attach themselves to failure, because of what it says about them. But, there are those, who know what it's like to get hit...in the middle of a crowd teeming with expectation for success, and you are on your back without the strength to get up on your own. Then you look up through your armor and see a hand. A hand with scars from the same impact. Eyes with the same focus of one who will keep going if they can just get back up. That hand makes the difference.

What do i say about this?

Go Cowboys.

Had to post this...

2008-08-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

Being here in Arkansas has been a big move. A lot of boxes and a lot of changes. Our family has been faced with one of it's greatest challenges to date. But, the greatest aspect of it all has been family. We have been surrounded by family in the same breath. Upon arriving here in Arkansas we were welcomed with Marty and Becky and a crew of guys to unload. At 6am in the morning. In the pouring rain. For 3 hours...now that I think about it we still owe those boys dinner. Ironically enough a crew of the boys who helped that are in Masters and the youth ministry, live next door :) I say all this because family is what really is important. Even as I type this I am hearing my son in the next room laughing like I haven't heard him laugh in a long time. He is with his cousin who is spending the night making videos for youtube...so stay tuned for some videos :) I have included a video below of the boys. I have a thought under the video for today...

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I took some things to storage today... for the umpteenth time. It's great because our nice chair is in there so I can go just chill for awhile as well. As I was sitting there...sulking in the moment wondering what is next for my life...still unaware if what that is, but just sitting and thinking. I looked right across from where I was sitting and there was an RV. On the back of the RV was the words "Idle Time" For some reason that hit me. So, if you know me...you know I had to look into the word Idle. I was familiar with the word in the terms of an engine...but I had to dig deeper.

idle |ˈīdl|
adjective ( idler , idlest )
1 (esp. of a machine or factory) not active or in use : assembly lines standing idle for lack of spare parts.
• (of a person) not working; unemployed.
• (of a person) avoiding work; lazy.
• [ attrib. ] (of time) characterized by inaction or absence of significant activity : at no time in the day must there be an idle moment.
• (of money) held in cash or in accounts paying no interest.
2 without purpose or effect; pointless : he did not want to waste valuable time in idle chatter.
• (esp. of a threat or boast) without foundation : I knew Ellen did not make idle threats.

Like a slap in the face, I read the third or fourth line that said "without purpose or effect" Um, no. I refuse to allow where I am to become Idle Time. Now more than ever it is time to drive. if you ever feel like your standing still in a world that keeps spinning? Don't allow it to be Idle Time. Time with no purpose. Lazy time. Lacking spare parts. Take every day for what it hands you, and hand it back full. Trust me, I am talking to myself as well.

"Just because things are spinning, doesn't mean your going anywhere"

No words, just excellence.

2008-08-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

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I can't believe I am going to say this...

2008-08-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

Everyday presents its new challenges. You go through one day and then the next day it resets. Just when you think you made it past that day...then another one. I don't know about you...but that can be alot. Sometimes the day before carries over into the next, so then you have yesterdays challenges and then the present. Sounds almost overwhelming. I understand. So? Since the day isn't going to stop, what do you do?

Seeing as I despise cats...it's difficult to even use one as a reference.

This morning on my way to my wife's car to look for my phone charger, I turned the corner down a long sidewalk and noticed a cat peeking around the corner. He knew and I knew I wasn't going to back down. I knew where I needed to go and my intended goal...but so did he. As I got closer I knew he would scamper...btw love that I could use that word in a sentence. I got about 10 feet away and he came around the corner and stood in the middle of MY path. Seeing as every cat I have come across would scamper every time you approach them. This one didn't. I took two more steps and he charged me. Trust me, it would have done me great pleasure to field goal that sucker...but he ran right at me and then sprinted by me to get to his destination. I watched as I saw a dumb animal do what he had to, to get to get to it's destination. What I expected to see didn't happen. He didn't look down the path and see me... a big obstacle... and run away. He didn't desire to go down the path I was, see what he was faced with, see what he might have to encounter, see what might be his death... cuz trust me... I hate cats... but I admired this one.

How many times do we back down when we see where we not only want to go but need to when we see something of a greater challenge in our way? You have every right to get to your destination as it does. Sadly enough...some of those things have been sent on assignment to knock you off that intended path. So? What do you do? Charge it. Run and keep your eyes on your goal. If a cat can look at a 235 pound dude and run toward where he is going and not back down? I think we need to ... I can't believe I am going to say this... I think we can learn from a cat.

"If you can match the Giant within you to the Giant your facing...then it's a fair fight!"

A Word

2008-08-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

Words really can't describe what I have been through, what I have put my family through and how I have stretched my relationships to the breaking point. There is no reason for me to go into detail because detail is what is being taken in repairing my family and home. There comes a time in your life where nothing seems to take on what would be described as clarity. Even the word "Clear" is defined as "Easy to perceive, understand or interpret". Not even close to my life definition at that time. You can get yourself to the place where your and self get separated. Where the repairer needs repair and the doctor needs a doctor. Excuses lost there seat months ago. I am strong and understood and that is an unmeasurable place to be.

I have and am using this blog to communicate to so many that have checked on April and I. We are good and strong. We have moved to Arkansas and doing incredible. I am going to note every step of our progress on this blog due to our understanding of the call of God on our lives and the road we are on and headed towards are huge. If your asking what you could do for us? Stay connected! The Phipps are not only good... but better than ever. I will post to this blog daily... (clearing my throat) ... try to daily ;)

"What you choose, determines how your chosen"... and btw... your still chosen.